A Testimony of Friendship

The Lord ordained a friendship for me that began eight years ago.  I know it was given to me from the hand of God because it was not someone I would think to choose for myself.  I met her through a mutual friend when she was 18 and I was 25.  I was a single mom of a 2 year old boy and she was a headstrong and opinionated teenager.  Because there was a need we begin living as roommates right after we met. As we began to discover one another I started learning lessons right away. God's typical MO.

She was incredibly messy.  She would spill jelly on the kitchen floor in the morning and it would be there when we returned home from work.  She would eat Little Debbie's oatmeal cream pies for breakfast.  I on the other had was a perfectionist. I liked things clean and put in their place.  Everything had to be done right and I had a hard time trusting the ability of others.  Can you say 'control freak!'  As she had her feet up on the coffee table reading a book, I would be cleaning or decorating, unable to enjoy the moments of life.

I recall a time when I became physically ill for 3 days. The Lord said "Be patient in affliction."  As I was bedridden God began to work through the sickness and the essence of my friend.  She worked (a little!) to live, but had no desire as a woman to allow work to define who she was.  I had to work. I had to strive...but God was saying through the circumstances..."No my daughter, you need to rest and trust me".   I was learning to let go of myself slowly, piece by piece.

My friend was also going to teach me a huge lesson about God's dealings in grace with us. I thought I knew grace. But what I discovered was what God had started within me in the spirit, I tried to perfect in the flesh.

Years passed and we changed. My friend, whom I had prayed with, cried with, and sought the Lord with started to desire the things of the past. I found myself mentally going to places that I never belonged in as a redeemed child of God. I started to become prideful, almost against her, even though a piece of me always loved her. I started to put her sin on a scale and tipped my sin in a more favorable light than hers. This is against the word of God. Proverbs 28:21 says "To show partiality (favoritism) is not good, because for a piece of bread, a man will transgress (sin)."

I also put certain people I knew on a spiritual pedestal and I was becoming blinded. Among the Christians I knew I was pretty obedient. But it was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain. When you get involved in performance based religion, whether conscience or unconscionably, a mixture of self righteousness and condemnation always manifest as rotten fruit.  God in his love for me allowed this to all come crashing down for my own good.

I saw how God had sought after my friend. Even in her sin, even after she had tasted the things of God. One day I had had it with her and threw myself on my bed in complaint to the Lord.  He spoke to me right then, "Yes she is in sin, and I will deal with it."  Did he condemn her, forget about her, or think he was above extending his arm toward her in her rebelliousness as I had done in my mind at times? No, he sought after her.  She was drowning, by her own doing, but desperately longing to purge the shame and be one with Christ again. God saw into the places of her heart that are not, and will never be visible to me.  How dare I ever think I was above falling.  Apart from the grace of God I would be back wallowing in my sin of years past.

The Lord had orchestrated events in my life to deliver me from legalism, performance, religion, self righteousness, and condemnation.  He set up circumstances so I would need to either listen to the voice of people that I determined were righteous or the voice of God.  I chose to listen to God and the floodgate of Grace opened.  I lost some precious friendships but brand new ones of Grace were born, and one special relationship was reborn.

My reborn relationship was with my friend that God placed in my life several years ago.  I am not afraid of her sin anymore. I'm not afraid of my own sin....and I can admit that MY sin is no less putrid in the nostrils of a Holy God.  My relationship with God has changed. I no longer think I am on his naughtly list when I fail and on his nice list when I am doing everything right.  I no longer think certain Christians are closer to God than other Christians, I no longer look at my friend like I am more favored by God, or more obedient than her...because I really STINK.  It's Christ that makes any one of us righteous.

Where the SPIRIT of the Lord is, there is Freedom! 

Jessi I love you dearly.  I see you as a powerful force against the kingdom of darkness. God is filling you with his spirit right now and I see you accepting it and living it and pouring it out to others. May God bless you with every good thing! May you get the same wages as those people who started working for our master early in the morning...and who is anyone to complain? God may reward his servants as he pleases!  You bless me and in this tribute to you I tried to tell you how special you are to me, but honestly I only scratched the surface of all the ways God used your life to bless me.  Your pain was not wasted. Neither was mine. Oh God, Jehovah our redeemer....no earthly joy he has promised to us compares to the promise that is coming, our salvation that he is faithful to bring us into.  I love you!

HIS Righteousness

I am finding that delicate balance of being in the world but not of it.  I am learning, however and always will be.  When Jesus determined the time was right to shine his brightness into my life he did it by displaying complete love, kindness, and acceptance.  HE accepted ME.  Sure there were many things that needed to change (and I was aware of it)  but his acceptance of me right then and there trumped my current sinfulness.  It had to... because if it didn't, at that moment, I don't think I could have approached him.

So I began on the path with Jesus.  Now looking back over the past 11 years.....

I used to get so worked up about people. People professing belief yet not obeying. And that's understandable.  But the anger of my flesh did not produce the righteousness of God.  You could say I was busy "pleasing" God and not "trusting" God...with people.

Sometimes Christians can be afraid of certain sins and not others. I used to be this way. I used to have a homosexual boss. Eeeek! Homosexuality! Really? Aside from being amused by his mannorisms and making the occasional joke about him behind his back, I thought oh man, he is FAR from God. One day God spoke to me at work and showed me that my bosses sin of homosexuality was no different than my other co-workers sin of heterosexual fornication, or yet another co-workers sin of unbelief.  How about Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses? What about idolatry?  What about the idol of spending too much money on your own comfort, finding comfort in food, or comfort in smoking instead of contentment in being still and knowing HE is God? Not sharing your money with those in need? Making out with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Being prideful because of your prolonged obedience to God's commands?  Thinking your better or more spiritual than another person?  And the list goes on and on. 

It's all missing God's mark of perfection. 

We are all just people created in the image of God and happen to be deceived by different doctrines, lifestyles, sins.

Look at what a loving God we serve.  He patiently corrects and rebukes us with the precision of a surgeons scalpel.  God's commandments and word can never be compromised but don't throw a person away when they are stumbling around, even when they "should" know better...because God doesn't.   Trust God that you are not condoning anothers sin just because you are lovingly trying to restore them.  Some people flounder and go through deep valleys. I go through them too.  And we can never think we are more righteousness than another because really, it is JESUS who is the righteousness one that put's his spirit within us....apart from that we are still just that filthy rag that that floundered in sin until God lovingly looked upon us.  HE keeps us from sin.  I don't ever want to stop living that truth.  I want to stay tightly knit to the vine of Christ, being gentle with other people, because my own goodness gets me into a place where I end up needing repentance.






Ephesians 2 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast. ¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Victor, The Homeless Chihuahua

I want to tell Victor's story, but I first have to make something clear. I hate chihuahua's. There, I said it. My closest friends have them but I have always secretly hated them and kept it to myself. I like big dogs. Plain and simple.  Ok, now that that's out I don't feel like a liar anymore.

Victor is a homeless chihuahua that lives on my street.  The homes on my street pretty much have no fences so Victor is free to roam as he pleases.  When I first moved in, I saw this strange animal take notice of me and then run for his life down the dirt path next to the neighboring garden. Seriously, I did not know what the heck it was. I thought it was a rabbit because it ran too awkwardly to be a cat.  

Then one day we were BBQing on the back patio and this animal comes out to beg.  He had no collar and some matted fur. I figured it was the funny animal I saw running weeks prior.

So we fed it, but it would not let us pet him.  My husband kept saying he was just using us.  As the days went by we named him Victor because it is the name of a street on his turf.  We also noticed him frequenting our back door when it was dinner time.  But now we are noticing some new behavior in our peculiar little buddy.

He is coming around a lot more.  He is also venturing into our home, when he feels safe, and when we leave the back door open. For a few days now he will come in, without letting us pet him, and then run back outside when we get too close. Even though I hate chihuahua's I think he is sort of cute.  When I open the door he sits there and wont come in...then I will shut the door he scratches on the door to enter....repeat.

I even think his ears are so cute. They are huge like Dumbo compared to his little face.  They swing all around his head almost to communicate emotion.  And the coolest part is the peace he gave me a few nights ago. I was sitting on the patio and he comes running up, happy to see me.  But of course he sat five feet away to protect himself.  It's almost like he wants a home but is afraid. I wondered what his little story was and what he had been through.  Was he just a fashion that went out of style to some trendy twenty something?  Has he been fighting the mean streets of Utah for months now, while his sensitive heart has become bitter and cold?  (I need to get a life, I know)

So I thought about little Victor.  Then this whole scenario came to me.  I know in the past God found it pleasing to himself to speak to me through situations and this little dog brought one of those spiritual applications.

Victor is so accustomed to the big bad world that he is finding it hard to trust whats best for him.  He wants to draw near to me but will retreat back outside due to fear and comfortability. And truth be told, I think he likes some of the shennagans he is used to out in the darkness!  One night I saw two huge cats tear through the yard and after them comes Victor in a snarl.

I can't help but see a correlation to us and how we are with God in our first encounters with him...or when we have ventured back into "the world" and know we need him.  We have made a mess in the world.  Our fur is matted, our hearts have grown cold....and we know that spiritual things fill us, and they warm us.  We know that they nourish and satisfy, while the sin and temporary fun always leaves us empty.

We come near to God, at his door, yet keep looking back into the world because it's comfortable and it's enticing.  God opens it but we stand in the doorway...and linger.

I'm not sure what Victor will ultimately choose.  He is learning to trust.  He is lonely.  He is getting closer everyday.  I just want to bathe him and clean him up but I cannot force him to stay.  And just like our heavenly father- he will only clean us up if we let him.

Hopefully Victor will grow tired of chasing tail in the garden and start living life more abundantly!

I heart cookies.

So, the DOUBLE CHOCOLATE MINT COOKIES were amazing.  

If you needed them for a get together (especially with church people!) these would be a hit.
Here are the ingredients you will need to make 5 dozen:


1 cup Butter
2 cups white sugar
2 eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp peppermint extract
2 cups flour
3/4 cup unsweetened coco powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips


Cream softened butter, sugar, eggs and extracts. Then add dry ingredients with electric mixer.  Fold in chocolate chips last.
I would chill the dough for over an hour before baking. I've noticed my cookies don't rise well if I skip that step.  
350 degrees (you know the rest)

...and yes, you can eat them with this...

I already tested this new product for you.  It's good and convenient!

Limbs and Things.

I saw Soul Surfer tonight. I felt like the Lord inspired me to take my son today as I was resting at home.  I was so blessed by it.  A young woman who's whole life was about surfing had her arm bit off by a shark.  There were so many reminders of how God will weave beautiful things within the pain this life will bring us.  It reminded me of an incident I will never forget.

Last summer when I was finishing up my degree at UNLV, I was working part time at a tanning salon.  Needless to say much of what I encountered were impatient, selfish women with their identity all wrapped up in their sex appeal.  Women that have extreme standoff-ish outer beauty that is UNinviting at best.

But one afternoon a naturally beautiful woman walked in. I noticed her becuase her demeanor was gentle and she didn't look all done up.  She was there to get a spray tan and had a funny request. "Do you have any trash bags? I need two of them for my legs."  I got them for her and we became engaged in conversation.

Her heart was so loving, so soft. She revealed to me that she lost both of her legs 10 year ago in an accident. I would have never known that she had two fake legs. She was wearing skinny jeans and walked normally.  She told me she was a model and ran a non-profit organization too.  I was so blessed by her that day.  I almosted wondered if she was not involved in her accident if her heart would not be that beautiful....would it be hard like so many young women today?

I grew up in southern California.  I saw my first Cosmopolitan magazine when I was 11.  Sadly, it made me obsessed with beauty.  "Wanting to be beautiful"  held me captive for many years. Endless wishing, striving, and wanting more than God gave me, never being satisfied and content.

One day I was reading the bible and came across the story of God's prophet Samuel.  He was supposed to go to Jesse's house and find the next King of Isreal.  Jesse had several sons and Samuel thought Eliab would be the chosen one.  But here is what GOD said, "Do not look at his appearance or physical stature, because I have refused him! For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 

That really brought peace and rest to my soul.  What we value in our American culture is man made and GOD has refused it!   How many times have I judged a woman or man made in the image of God by how they were dressed, how they looked or even how akward they act?  We have no clue what goes on in a person's heart!  It's pride. It's our ugly pride to ever think we are better than another person....physically, and even spiritually.

I have been set free to enjoy and be content with what God has given me. A healthy body, a sober mind, and a compassion for others.  I pray a new trend would spring up...women who serve others and develop their inner beauty! As I continue to develop mine because I certainly have not arrived.


The last shall be first and the first shall be last.

"Go and sin no more"

Did you ever ponder why Jesus said this to the woman caught red-handed in the act of adultery?

We can safely say that Jesus knew this womans whole life and what led up to her actions that day.  He also knew the condition of her heart and if she was discusted by her own sin even though she willingly participated. 

Men stood around her, holding their stones, ready to take her life.  At that moment, Jesus asked which one of THEM was without sin.     

In Romans chapter 7 the apostle Paul writes about his struggle with sin as a born again believer.  He explains that it is the sin living in him that causes him to do what he does not want to do.  This tells me that the Christian who sins does not desire to practice sin as he might have before conversion, but will still sin due to his real self being encased in a body of flesh that desires the sin.  Paul then explains that we are to let God's spirit direct our heart attitudes and actions more and more.  He also warns that this is not a liscence to sin. 

All the Christians we know are in various stages of spiritual growth.  I am in no way capable of knowing what is going on inside of a persons heart at any given time.  I can see or experience a person's actions, react to those actions, hopefully with gentleness and forgiveness, but I cannot judge their standing with God.  Lord, I release that judgement to you because only you can judge rightly.  You are all knowing - not me!

Without love I am only a noisy gong or clanging symbol. I have felt the judgement of someone and I have felt the love of someone.  Both parties desired to bring me a rebuke.  The judgemental person did love the Lord but brought many assumptions and fear to my heart. But oh how refreshing was the person who brought rebuke to me in love! Their words brought tears to my eyes and refreshing to my soul!  This person's rebuke was a product of God's spirit reaching out to me....not a flawed attempt in the flesh to glorify oneself.

That situation taught me some things. God doesn't need me to rebuke or confront every situation.  I will strive to live my life in such a manor that allows others to see Christs righteousness in me (cause I have NONE on my own!)  I don't need to be the Holy Spirit's mouthpiece unless instructed to do so.  My judgements are wrong because I am not all knowing.  And when the time comes that the Holy Spirit wants to use me to intervene in a person's life, I will wait gently and patiently for those perfectly calaulated words to deliver to that person.  

I am learning so much about God's grace. I want to love people like Jesus did. With compassion, without judging appearances and motives, taking the log out of my own eye, having a "go and sin no more" heart towards others....because I need that for myself!

"What you are looking for is ME"

Did you ever think that Jesus could be absolutely enough for you?  Did you ever think you could get to that place in your life?  Did you ever want to go to that place?

For whatever reason I was put in a state of singleness for nine years.  I believe Jesus was teaching me that he was enough for me.  Through that season, I found myself floundering between contentment and impatience.


In the midst of it the Holy Spirit spoke to me one night,  "I have never been able to be alone with you. Ever since you were a little girl you always wanted more than just me." 


Really? Gosh. I didn't even know how to take that. I felt sad. I always desired more than the God who created me.  I love those moments though. Those moments of clarity when God shows us our real condition. Sure it can be painful but hearing the truth can bring new life too.


God then started to show me just how perfectly he loved me.  One time I bought a pair of really great earings. I started to admire them, and me in them, and I was taking way too many pictures of myself in the bathroom mirror...(you know) and he spoke again, "It's not the earings that make you beautiful, it's your heart."


Wow. Really? Your like that much of a close personal God?  You tell me something so breath taking...something I have never even heard from a man my entire life? You mean, you could care less about my outward appearance and your looking into my heart? You mean I don't have to look a certain way or strive for you to love me?  Sigh.  That's so...liberating.  


So now a wonderful man is in my life. He has the spirit of God living in him. It's amazing. He is amazing. I could write another blog about human love....But one day he, well, acted like a man. Rrrr! And I brought it before the Lord. And he said... "No MAN can love you perfectly."


What?! Your saying a marriage isn't the defining event of my life? I haven't entered heavenly bliss? My bubble was kinda bursted. Well, not really.  But I am so glad that Jesus reminded me that HE has to be the Lord of my life no matter what happens.   


I thought of what I was told through all the striving and years by myself.  "What you are looking for is me."

Condemnation and stuff like that.

No one ever told me how difficult the Christian walk could be.  When Jesus rescued me he came into my life as a big bright light that led me out of so much darkness and depravity.  I was elated to take his hand and walk out of the mess with him...a true knight in shining armor! Wow, those first several years with Jesus were amazing. I was like a zealous new born baby.  He led me and guided me with his very own hand. Encouraging me, talking to me, speaking promises to me, his still small voice telling me the wonderful things he was going to do with me, directing my path.......

Those were the days.

Now, well, as a Christian for the past 11 years I have seen some deep dark valleys of testing. I have experienced trials of "many kinds" and I have come out with some heavy things attached to me, I think.

Today a dear sister that God put in my life told me about a recent sermon that had to do with the work of the devil in peoples lives.  I can't remember the exact wording she used so I found this on the internet that related: Religious spirits can manifest in different ways for different people, depending on Satan's plan for that person's life. For example, one person may be plagued with feelings of never being good enough for God and condemnation, while the next person may be infected with self-righteousness and false holiness.

I think the condemnation "spirit" is attached to me.  I think both of satans tactics mentioned above are a form of pride because I found this somewhere on the internet :  "People who never feel good enough for a relationship with God, but are continually condemned or have a guilty feeling hovering over them may have a religious spirit(s) operating in their mind.  The feeling of 'never being good enough' is a dead giveaway because it shows that the person is trying to make things right with God themselves and not relying on the work of Christ, which already paid their debt in full."

I already experienced something with God a few years ago on this subject.  I was on vacation and I couldn't shake the "I'm such a crappy Christian" feeling.  Then the Holy spirit spoke to me "Put Jesus on like a clean white robe of righteousness."  and I saw a picture of a white robe in my mind covering me. That helped me understand myself so much.  I cannot attribute any righteousness to myself. It is Jesus, whom I have faith in that covers me, my humanness, and my sin in the face of a Holy God. I don't care if I failed last Tuesday or have not had any major moral blunders in 30 years....it is JESUS righteousness, not mine that I am in right standing with God.  That is not to minimize the importance of faith producing works, repentance daily, and applying Gods word, but that is a whole 'nother blog.

So WHY do I still struggle. I know I don't think I am better than others because I always struggle with thinking God "tolerates" me.

So today, a blessed sister encouraged me.  (Thanks S.A.!!)  And yesterday two other sisters encouraged me (M.S. and A.S....lol)  And I had a taste of freedom, which I do get occasionally. I had peace. I felt the love of God. I am ok. God loves me the same today as he did when he pulled me from the wreckage I made of my life at 22 years old.  It was so freeing.  I felt empowered to say NO to satans work in my mind and not allow him to rob me, or my precious son or anyother beautiful thing happening in my life.  I am a better teacher, a better mother, a better friend and will be a good wife when I believe that God is for me instead of against me. 

If you love me, and even if you don't :)  Please keep me in your prayers. I want to be free for those around me. I want to be encouraged, I want to be like Paul......content in ALL circumstances...But I want that gift of JOY. I can do all things with the JOY of the Lord being my strength. I need it and I'm going to fight that it will not be robbed from me anymore.

Concluding thoughts
(not from me but someone on the internet!)
Religious spirits are very popular today. If you have religious spirits, please do not hesitate to seek deliverance from them. They are out to wage war against your intimate relationship with God. They can make you feel distant from God, because no matter what you do, it will never be enough, or they can set you up for spiritual disaster through pride and self-righteousness. Either way, their goal is to nullify the work of Christ in your life, and make it to no effect for you. Being set free from religious spirits can bring major spiritual freedom and breakthrough in your relationship with God!

http://www.greatbiblestudy.com/religious_spirits.php

The Promise Is Here!

God's will, Mysteries, Blessings, Random Things.....

So many things are happening to me so quickly. And what better way to deal with it then to post it all on a public blog at 1:30 in the morning :) 

So I've been proposed to by a man that loves me...no, I mean I have looked like death in front of him, showed him my nasty side, been insecure, been grumpy, tricked him into eating a Korean party favor which consisted of dried fish heads (courtesy of International Marketplace)....and he STILL loves me! 

The thought of a wedding is so overwhelming to me so, I just had to pray and leave it at that. Now I am seeing, seemingly, (eeeeek, there's my doubt again!) God do some amazing things. And one of them happened tonight.....

My sweet friend got married last summer.  She had two brand new wedding dresses for her special day.  She said I could try the one on she decided not to use. 

This dress was the first wedding dress I have ever tried on in my entire life...and it was the most beautiful thing ever! It fit PERFECT...no alterations needed.

You have to be so vulnerable to be married. You have to include your spouse in every decision.  I wouldn't run the show anymore! But I am so in love and so sprung! So much so that I want to give myself, my world, my life, to someone else. Wow...this long time single gal just might be getting married! 

The Past

I was driving to an evening meeting for work and decided to stop at a convenience store for some junk food. I almost did not stop because I was trying to get back into the gym/health routine. But I turned into the parking lot anyway. When I got what I wanted I went up to the cashier. Right away I knew who she was even though I had not seen her face since I was 18 years old. In an instant I also knew the encounter was not random, nor was it chance.

With one look, her face brought me back 15 years....

         ...to the rebelliousness, the pain, the longing for love,
              the always striving but never being fulfilled.


The cashier was my friend such a long time ago. But I had been rescued from that life.  I had been graciously pulled out of the darkness of despair and into the marvelous light that I identify with now. Yet standing before me was someone who was just like me all those years ago. Someone who has not yet been rescued like I was.

As I kept in contact with my old friend I had a deep question answered that I have pondered in my heart for a long time. What would my life be like now if Jesus didn't rescue me from myself?

I would still have a desperate neediness that was not filled. I would still have a river of cursings flowing from my heart and out of my mouth. I would still be grasping at relationships, alcohol and drugs to fill my emptiness. And probably the most damaging of all, because of my poor choices, I would have everything sacred that belonged to me ripped out of my angry hands.

GOD IS LOVE-GOD IS LOVE-GOD IS LOVE
and JESUS is God's demonstration of that love to us.

There is no righteousness in me apart from Jesus Christ. No religion, good deeds, or self-determination changed who I was and brought me to where I am today.  It was only the transforming power of a Holy God. 

Sometimes, when I feel like the road is too hard I will ask God in anger "Why didn't you just leave me in my sin? It was easier!"  And I reflect....it was him that brought me out of the deep pit. I was spiritually dead while my body was still alive. I did not know how to do anything but be a slave to sin.  I could not live a life that displayed love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control unless the spirit of God controlled my life.

Jesus said we must be born again by the Holy Spirit to enter the kingdom of God upon death.  Pride will not make it, neither will doing good things.    

When I am in my right mind I am so thankful. I have been rescued.  And I want my friend to be rescued too. I see her losing what is precious to her. I see her allowing herself to be damaged but I know that Jesus loves her with the same fervency he loves me with. I know that our meeting was not random chance and it is my job to pray that she will receive salvation as I have.  To me, this is a reason to praise him.

God's ways are harder to discern than the pathways of the wind and are as mysterious as a tiny baby being formed in the dark of the womb.

Reflections on Friendship

Watching my elementary school-aged students learn about friendships is quite comical at times. I see so many raw, unrefined personalities looking to be accepted and navagating the uncharted waters of friendship.  I have seen them name call, threaten, say a forced sorry, bribe and even hit in their attempts at friendship with one another.

As we get older we learn, hopefully, what works and doesn't work within a friendship.  We learn that not everyone wants to be our friend and most of the time the reason for this is unclear.  It could be insecurities within them, gossip taken in, lack of time, or even wrong timing.

We also discover that we can have a close friend for a long time and circumstances will end up taking them away.  I am not going to say in those instances that those people were not true friends. I would like to think that God has his purposes for all our friendships, no matter how long or short they may be. It is up to us however to apply the biblical principal of forgiveness.

After all my experiences, in these 33 years I have lived, I can say I have only had a small handful of faithful friends. One has been my friend of 21 years. When I think of her I think of the verse "He who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure." I thought about our friendship one day and reflected on the reasons why I regard her the way that I do.  Here is what I came up with...

1. She does not compete with me (men, clothes, weight, money, looks...anything!) Our friendship is competition free!

2. She does not take verbal jabs at me (She did when we were teens but not anymore). Oh how I love this...and oh how I have been wounded by the verbal jabs of women. 

3. I can tottaly trust her. We established this "no lying policy" in middle school and it stuck.

4. She loves Jesus and encourages me in the word of God. She doesn't entice me to sin.

5. She has self-actualization.  She understands how her words and her actions affect others and she carefully chooses them.

6. She is genuinly interested in my life and the lives of others. She is not self absorbed. This is VITAL to a healthy friendship.

7. She is not an oportunist. She shows kindness to me for kindness' sake. Not to receive gain, attention or   praise.

8. She is secure within herself.  She isn't overly needy and is content with her life and what Jesus has given her.


Some of my beautiful friends at my college graduation May 2010

So, If you have even one true friend, consider yourself blessed! And if you don't then you can know Jesus is all those 8 things listed above....and then some!


You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. -Dale Carengie

It isn't kind to cultivate a friendship just so one will have an audience. - Lawana Blackwell

Submission

Jesus~ Teach me to be a wife...                  
Submission is a word I have grown rather fond of.  This was never the case with me. But eleven years ago Jesus rescued me.  I was filled with pride, I was loud, incredibly narcissistic and had a pushy sexuality that any carnal man would love. But that was not what God had for his daughter. He took me in, cleaned me off, and started me on this long road of purification. 

I am now at a place in life where I am asking, seeking, and knocking....  Many years ago Jesus told me I would be "happily married". As I approach this event in my life I want to be sure I am all that I need to be- in order to avoid devistation. 

A few sections of scripture are burned into my heart on this subject.

In Genesis 24:63 A servant was sent out to obtain a wife for his master, Isaac.  The dilligence of a woman named Rebekah showed the servant that she was to be his masters wife.

He went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?”  “He is my master,” the servant answered.       So she took her veil and covered herself.

I just love the mystery and modesty that Rebekah wraps herself in. What does the Lord require of us women? To push out our body parts to attract a Godly husband? No! This woman covers herself and affirms her trust in a God to deliver her hearts desire. 
 
I was having a discussion with my best friend of 21 years.  She has been in a marriage for a long time and dilligently researches, and practices how to be a submissive wife. She brought up a scripture that was central to this blog:

Ephesians 5:22  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.
 
And there's that word, submit. I cant fully explain why but I embrace it more and more as I allow myself to be given over to the soverignty of who Jesus is in my life.  My best friend was telling me that we are to approach our husbands with the attitude and respect we approach Jesus with! When she said that it all became clear to me.  I knew how to approach Jesus and it was always with respect first, then praise, then if I had any issues they would be made known. 
 
This is not to discredit a husbands role in fulfilling his scriptural duty to LOVE his wife.  Because women NEED love.  Jesus says a man's prayer will not even be heard if he is not loving his wife as Christ loves the church! Those are some strong words for a man that has ears to hear.  But our obedience to what is required of us as wives is not predicated upon our husband's behavior!
 
And ladies...if we in fact have ears to hear what God spirit is saying to us we would know that it is us as individuals who God will want to deal with. Yes, men are __________ (fill in the blank for your man) but I have found in my life and in the lives of many friends that God will always deal with us individually in order fix the problems within a marriage.  We don't have a marriage problem, we have a sin problem.
 

I have waited for a long time...not to be just married, but happily married!

 
Lord, I pray that we would all see what you set up IS what's best. You have crafted men as strong providers and protecters that crave respect and honor. You have crafted woman out of man.  They long to be loved, known, and admired. You so wisely said in your word that husbands are to love their wives and wives are to respect their husbands.  Jezebel and Ahab are the perfect example in your word of disobedience to a marriage order. I believe our enemy would have wives to be self-willed and domineering to disrupt your perfect order for a marriage. You forknew what it would take for a marriage to work. You laid out the plan in the marriage perfectly.  I pray you would make me more like Esther in my approaches toward my future husband and less and less like Jezebel. Forgive me God where I have fell short in my life. Help me to love others and care about the affairs of others and not just be concerned with my own life. You are good Jesus. Thank you for your banner of  love over me.  Amen.