Reflections on Friendship

Watching my elementary school-aged students learn about friendships is quite comical at times. I see so many raw, unrefined personalities looking to be accepted and navagating the uncharted waters of friendship.  I have seen them name call, threaten, say a forced sorry, bribe and even hit in their attempts at friendship with one another.

As we get older we learn, hopefully, what works and doesn't work within a friendship.  We learn that not everyone wants to be our friend and most of the time the reason for this is unclear.  It could be insecurities within them, gossip taken in, lack of time, or even wrong timing.

We also discover that we can have a close friend for a long time and circumstances will end up taking them away.  I am not going to say in those instances that those people were not true friends. I would like to think that God has his purposes for all our friendships, no matter how long or short they may be. It is up to us however to apply the biblical principal of forgiveness.

After all my experiences, in these 33 years I have lived, I can say I have only had a small handful of faithful friends. One has been my friend of 21 years. When I think of her I think of the verse "He who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure." I thought about our friendship one day and reflected on the reasons why I regard her the way that I do.  Here is what I came up with...

1. She does not compete with me (men, clothes, weight, money, looks...anything!) Our friendship is competition free!

2. She does not take verbal jabs at me (She did when we were teens but not anymore). Oh how I love this...and oh how I have been wounded by the verbal jabs of women. 

3. I can tottaly trust her. We established this "no lying policy" in middle school and it stuck.

4. She loves Jesus and encourages me in the word of God. She doesn't entice me to sin.

5. She has self-actualization.  She understands how her words and her actions affect others and she carefully chooses them.

6. She is genuinly interested in my life and the lives of others. She is not self absorbed. This is VITAL to a healthy friendship.

7. She is not an oportunist. She shows kindness to me for kindness' sake. Not to receive gain, attention or   praise.

8. She is secure within herself.  She isn't overly needy and is content with her life and what Jesus has given her.


Some of my beautiful friends at my college graduation May 2010

So, If you have even one true friend, consider yourself blessed! And if you don't then you can know Jesus is all those 8 things listed above....and then some!


You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. -Dale Carengie

It isn't kind to cultivate a friendship just so one will have an audience. - Lawana Blackwell