I heart cookies.

So, the DOUBLE CHOCOLATE MINT COOKIES were amazing.  

If you needed them for a get together (especially with church people!) these would be a hit.
Here are the ingredients you will need to make 5 dozen:


1 cup Butter
2 cups white sugar
2 eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp peppermint extract
2 cups flour
3/4 cup unsweetened coco powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips


Cream softened butter, sugar, eggs and extracts. Then add dry ingredients with electric mixer.  Fold in chocolate chips last.
I would chill the dough for over an hour before baking. I've noticed my cookies don't rise well if I skip that step.  
350 degrees (you know the rest)

...and yes, you can eat them with this...

I already tested this new product for you.  It's good and convenient!

Limbs and Things.

I saw Soul Surfer tonight. I felt like the Lord inspired me to take my son today as I was resting at home.  I was so blessed by it.  A young woman who's whole life was about surfing had her arm bit off by a shark.  There were so many reminders of how God will weave beautiful things within the pain this life will bring us.  It reminded me of an incident I will never forget.

Last summer when I was finishing up my degree at UNLV, I was working part time at a tanning salon.  Needless to say much of what I encountered were impatient, selfish women with their identity all wrapped up in their sex appeal.  Women that have extreme standoff-ish outer beauty that is UNinviting at best.

But one afternoon a naturally beautiful woman walked in. I noticed her becuase her demeanor was gentle and she didn't look all done up.  She was there to get a spray tan and had a funny request. "Do you have any trash bags? I need two of them for my legs."  I got them for her and we became engaged in conversation.

Her heart was so loving, so soft. She revealed to me that she lost both of her legs 10 year ago in an accident. I would have never known that she had two fake legs. She was wearing skinny jeans and walked normally.  She told me she was a model and ran a non-profit organization too.  I was so blessed by her that day.  I almosted wondered if she was not involved in her accident if her heart would not be that beautiful....would it be hard like so many young women today?

I grew up in southern California.  I saw my first Cosmopolitan magazine when I was 11.  Sadly, it made me obsessed with beauty.  "Wanting to be beautiful"  held me captive for many years. Endless wishing, striving, and wanting more than God gave me, never being satisfied and content.

One day I was reading the bible and came across the story of God's prophet Samuel.  He was supposed to go to Jesse's house and find the next King of Isreal.  Jesse had several sons and Samuel thought Eliab would be the chosen one.  But here is what GOD said, "Do not look at his appearance or physical stature, because I have refused him! For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 

That really brought peace and rest to my soul.  What we value in our American culture is man made and GOD has refused it!   How many times have I judged a woman or man made in the image of God by how they were dressed, how they looked or even how akward they act?  We have no clue what goes on in a person's heart!  It's pride. It's our ugly pride to ever think we are better than another person....physically, and even spiritually.

I have been set free to enjoy and be content with what God has given me. A healthy body, a sober mind, and a compassion for others.  I pray a new trend would spring up...women who serve others and develop their inner beauty! As I continue to develop mine because I certainly have not arrived.


The last shall be first and the first shall be last.

"Go and sin no more"

Did you ever ponder why Jesus said this to the woman caught red-handed in the act of adultery?

We can safely say that Jesus knew this womans whole life and what led up to her actions that day.  He also knew the condition of her heart and if she was discusted by her own sin even though she willingly participated. 

Men stood around her, holding their stones, ready to take her life.  At that moment, Jesus asked which one of THEM was without sin.     

In Romans chapter 7 the apostle Paul writes about his struggle with sin as a born again believer.  He explains that it is the sin living in him that causes him to do what he does not want to do.  This tells me that the Christian who sins does not desire to practice sin as he might have before conversion, but will still sin due to his real self being encased in a body of flesh that desires the sin.  Paul then explains that we are to let God's spirit direct our heart attitudes and actions more and more.  He also warns that this is not a liscence to sin. 

All the Christians we know are in various stages of spiritual growth.  I am in no way capable of knowing what is going on inside of a persons heart at any given time.  I can see or experience a person's actions, react to those actions, hopefully with gentleness and forgiveness, but I cannot judge their standing with God.  Lord, I release that judgement to you because only you can judge rightly.  You are all knowing - not me!

Without love I am only a noisy gong or clanging symbol. I have felt the judgement of someone and I have felt the love of someone.  Both parties desired to bring me a rebuke.  The judgemental person did love the Lord but brought many assumptions and fear to my heart. But oh how refreshing was the person who brought rebuke to me in love! Their words brought tears to my eyes and refreshing to my soul!  This person's rebuke was a product of God's spirit reaching out to me....not a flawed attempt in the flesh to glorify oneself.

That situation taught me some things. God doesn't need me to rebuke or confront every situation.  I will strive to live my life in such a manor that allows others to see Christs righteousness in me (cause I have NONE on my own!)  I don't need to be the Holy Spirit's mouthpiece unless instructed to do so.  My judgements are wrong because I am not all knowing.  And when the time comes that the Holy Spirit wants to use me to intervene in a person's life, I will wait gently and patiently for those perfectly calaulated words to deliver to that person.  

I am learning so much about God's grace. I want to love people like Jesus did. With compassion, without judging appearances and motives, taking the log out of my own eye, having a "go and sin no more" heart towards others....because I need that for myself!

"What you are looking for is ME"

Did you ever think that Jesus could be absolutely enough for you?  Did you ever think you could get to that place in your life?  Did you ever want to go to that place?

For whatever reason I was put in a state of singleness for nine years.  I believe Jesus was teaching me that he was enough for me.  Through that season, I found myself floundering between contentment and impatience.


In the midst of it the Holy Spirit spoke to me one night,  "I have never been able to be alone with you. Ever since you were a little girl you always wanted more than just me." 


Really? Gosh. I didn't even know how to take that. I felt sad. I always desired more than the God who created me.  I love those moments though. Those moments of clarity when God shows us our real condition. Sure it can be painful but hearing the truth can bring new life too.


God then started to show me just how perfectly he loved me.  One time I bought a pair of really great earings. I started to admire them, and me in them, and I was taking way too many pictures of myself in the bathroom mirror...(you know) and he spoke again, "It's not the earings that make you beautiful, it's your heart."


Wow. Really? Your like that much of a close personal God?  You tell me something so breath taking...something I have never even heard from a man my entire life? You mean, you could care less about my outward appearance and your looking into my heart? You mean I don't have to look a certain way or strive for you to love me?  Sigh.  That's so...liberating.  


So now a wonderful man is in my life. He has the spirit of God living in him. It's amazing. He is amazing. I could write another blog about human love....But one day he, well, acted like a man. Rrrr! And I brought it before the Lord. And he said... "No MAN can love you perfectly."


What?! Your saying a marriage isn't the defining event of my life? I haven't entered heavenly bliss? My bubble was kinda bursted. Well, not really.  But I am so glad that Jesus reminded me that HE has to be the Lord of my life no matter what happens.   


I thought of what I was told through all the striving and years by myself.  "What you are looking for is me."

Condemnation and stuff like that.

No one ever told me how difficult the Christian walk could be.  When Jesus rescued me he came into my life as a big bright light that led me out of so much darkness and depravity.  I was elated to take his hand and walk out of the mess with him...a true knight in shining armor! Wow, those first several years with Jesus were amazing. I was like a zealous new born baby.  He led me and guided me with his very own hand. Encouraging me, talking to me, speaking promises to me, his still small voice telling me the wonderful things he was going to do with me, directing my path.......

Those were the days.

Now, well, as a Christian for the past 11 years I have seen some deep dark valleys of testing. I have experienced trials of "many kinds" and I have come out with some heavy things attached to me, I think.

Today a dear sister that God put in my life told me about a recent sermon that had to do with the work of the devil in peoples lives.  I can't remember the exact wording she used so I found this on the internet that related: Religious spirits can manifest in different ways for different people, depending on Satan's plan for that person's life. For example, one person may be plagued with feelings of never being good enough for God and condemnation, while the next person may be infected with self-righteousness and false holiness.

I think the condemnation "spirit" is attached to me.  I think both of satans tactics mentioned above are a form of pride because I found this somewhere on the internet :  "People who never feel good enough for a relationship with God, but are continually condemned or have a guilty feeling hovering over them may have a religious spirit(s) operating in their mind.  The feeling of 'never being good enough' is a dead giveaway because it shows that the person is trying to make things right with God themselves and not relying on the work of Christ, which already paid their debt in full."

I already experienced something with God a few years ago on this subject.  I was on vacation and I couldn't shake the "I'm such a crappy Christian" feeling.  Then the Holy spirit spoke to me "Put Jesus on like a clean white robe of righteousness."  and I saw a picture of a white robe in my mind covering me. That helped me understand myself so much.  I cannot attribute any righteousness to myself. It is Jesus, whom I have faith in that covers me, my humanness, and my sin in the face of a Holy God. I don't care if I failed last Tuesday or have not had any major moral blunders in 30 years....it is JESUS righteousness, not mine that I am in right standing with God.  That is not to minimize the importance of faith producing works, repentance daily, and applying Gods word, but that is a whole 'nother blog.

So WHY do I still struggle. I know I don't think I am better than others because I always struggle with thinking God "tolerates" me.

So today, a blessed sister encouraged me.  (Thanks S.A.!!)  And yesterday two other sisters encouraged me (M.S. and A.S....lol)  And I had a taste of freedom, which I do get occasionally. I had peace. I felt the love of God. I am ok. God loves me the same today as he did when he pulled me from the wreckage I made of my life at 22 years old.  It was so freeing.  I felt empowered to say NO to satans work in my mind and not allow him to rob me, or my precious son or anyother beautiful thing happening in my life.  I am a better teacher, a better mother, a better friend and will be a good wife when I believe that God is for me instead of against me. 

If you love me, and even if you don't :)  Please keep me in your prayers. I want to be free for those around me. I want to be encouraged, I want to be like Paul......content in ALL circumstances...But I want that gift of JOY. I can do all things with the JOY of the Lord being my strength. I need it and I'm going to fight that it will not be robbed from me anymore.

Concluding thoughts
(not from me but someone on the internet!)
Religious spirits are very popular today. If you have religious spirits, please do not hesitate to seek deliverance from them. They are out to wage war against your intimate relationship with God. They can make you feel distant from God, because no matter what you do, it will never be enough, or they can set you up for spiritual disaster through pride and self-righteousness. Either way, their goal is to nullify the work of Christ in your life, and make it to no effect for you. Being set free from religious spirits can bring major spiritual freedom and breakthrough in your relationship with God!

http://www.greatbiblestudy.com/religious_spirits.php

The Promise Is Here!

God's will, Mysteries, Blessings, Random Things.....

So many things are happening to me so quickly. And what better way to deal with it then to post it all on a public blog at 1:30 in the morning :) 

So I've been proposed to by a man that loves me...no, I mean I have looked like death in front of him, showed him my nasty side, been insecure, been grumpy, tricked him into eating a Korean party favor which consisted of dried fish heads (courtesy of International Marketplace)....and he STILL loves me! 

The thought of a wedding is so overwhelming to me so, I just had to pray and leave it at that. Now I am seeing, seemingly, (eeeeek, there's my doubt again!) God do some amazing things. And one of them happened tonight.....

My sweet friend got married last summer.  She had two brand new wedding dresses for her special day.  She said I could try the one on she decided not to use. 

This dress was the first wedding dress I have ever tried on in my entire life...and it was the most beautiful thing ever! It fit PERFECT...no alterations needed.

You have to be so vulnerable to be married. You have to include your spouse in every decision.  I wouldn't run the show anymore! But I am so in love and so sprung! So much so that I want to give myself, my world, my life, to someone else. Wow...this long time single gal just might be getting married! 

The Past

I was driving to an evening meeting for work and decided to stop at a convenience store for some junk food. I almost did not stop because I was trying to get back into the gym/health routine. But I turned into the parking lot anyway. When I got what I wanted I went up to the cashier. Right away I knew who she was even though I had not seen her face since I was 18 years old. In an instant I also knew the encounter was not random, nor was it chance.

With one look, her face brought me back 15 years....

         ...to the rebelliousness, the pain, the longing for love,
              the always striving but never being fulfilled.


The cashier was my friend such a long time ago. But I had been rescued from that life.  I had been graciously pulled out of the darkness of despair and into the marvelous light that I identify with now. Yet standing before me was someone who was just like me all those years ago. Someone who has not yet been rescued like I was.

As I kept in contact with my old friend I had a deep question answered that I have pondered in my heart for a long time. What would my life be like now if Jesus didn't rescue me from myself?

I would still have a desperate neediness that was not filled. I would still have a river of cursings flowing from my heart and out of my mouth. I would still be grasping at relationships, alcohol and drugs to fill my emptiness. And probably the most damaging of all, because of my poor choices, I would have everything sacred that belonged to me ripped out of my angry hands.

GOD IS LOVE-GOD IS LOVE-GOD IS LOVE
and JESUS is God's demonstration of that love to us.

There is no righteousness in me apart from Jesus Christ. No religion, good deeds, or self-determination changed who I was and brought me to where I am today.  It was only the transforming power of a Holy God. 

Sometimes, when I feel like the road is too hard I will ask God in anger "Why didn't you just leave me in my sin? It was easier!"  And I reflect....it was him that brought me out of the deep pit. I was spiritually dead while my body was still alive. I did not know how to do anything but be a slave to sin.  I could not live a life that displayed love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control unless the spirit of God controlled my life.

Jesus said we must be born again by the Holy Spirit to enter the kingdom of God upon death.  Pride will not make it, neither will doing good things.    

When I am in my right mind I am so thankful. I have been rescued.  And I want my friend to be rescued too. I see her losing what is precious to her. I see her allowing herself to be damaged but I know that Jesus loves her with the same fervency he loves me with. I know that our meeting was not random chance and it is my job to pray that she will receive salvation as I have.  To me, this is a reason to praise him.

God's ways are harder to discern than the pathways of the wind and are as mysterious as a tiny baby being formed in the dark of the womb.