Then, the year 2011 rocked my life. God blessed me with repentance and opened my eyes. He showed me that I was in a cycle of pride and despair. He showed me that I sometimes thought I was more righteous than others (even when my mouth spoke the opposite) because I was more outwardly obedient in certain areas. He also showed me I would then cycle to condemnation because deep down I knew I couldn't live up to all the demands I put on others and myself. In 2011 Joyce, God allowed me to go through much pain and lose beloved friends. Some of these friends perpetuated this religious pride in my life. But he was gracious enough to bring new friends whom demonstrated grace to me...when my "performance" didn't deserve it.
After all this happened I noticed a woman at my job would always have your books. I spoke to this woman another comment that put you in an unfavorable light. Just when I did that I thought of all I had learned in 2011. I thought about my presumed offense I had against you. I thought you were frivolous with all your riches. Then I remembered my own debts and how I had been a bad steward of the money God had given me! I was judging you Joyce for the very things I did!
So I decided to dig a little. I listened to your sermons on youtube. And you know what I found? I found you to be a human that sought out the things of God just like I did. I learned that GOD had prepared you for your large ministry before it ever began. He slowly dealt with your spiritual pride against fellow women in your church, your selfishness and impatience. He convicted you of all the little things that you didn't act with integrity in....in order for you to be able to handle the big ministry things that were to come. He taught you to respect your husband and not dominate him in specific ways. I began to see that the Holy Spirit spoke to you Joyce, just like he spoke to me. And the most wonderful thing you said was to not judge another persons spirituality. You said not to judge what is or isn't God's hand in the life of another. How could we ever know? Are we God? Do we know how God is working in the lives of our neighbors? Do we know their strengths and weaknesses? Do we look at our own faults enough and repent of them, instead of always pointing at fellow believers.
Joyce, it's not my job to judge or speak out against you. I know you have made mistakes because you are human and you will make many more and I will too!!! Through this past year of my life, God has shown me what it means to take the plank out of my own eye instead of pointing at another person. Since I have done that I am trusting and believing God so much more. I have let go of feeling I am condemned from my own mind or the mouths of others because that is against Mark ch 3:28. All sin men commit will be forgiven except the blaspheming of the Holy Spirit. If live in an attitude of repentance we can never commit that unforgivable sin!
Hallelujah! What freedom it is to know and live out grace for myself and others! I don't just talk about the word grace...I experience it daily and pray it over others, even people that are stuck in religious pride...because I'm sure their are or will be other areas of my life God will be working on throughout my stay here on earth. I hope I never again judge another woman for "Eating the cookie or buying the shoes"!!!
