I have discovered that there is no greater help in this life than a personal relationship with Jesus.
He is the savior of the universe, his father is the creator God....
Yet he STILL bends down and has unlimited time to counsel me. He has proven to be tenderhearted toward me, even when I fail him. God will always counsel through Spirit and Truth... Truth being his word, and Spirit is: don't dare put him in a box because he is going to lead you the way he sees fit to deal with you!
I have discovered that God decided to speak to me plainly. The voice is not audible but I hear it in my spirit. In 1st Kings 19:12 the bible describes it as the still small voice. When I hear it I am still amazed even though I have probably heard it more than two dozen times across an array of situations in my adult life.
I have never spoken in tongues, nor have I healed the sick because of my prayers. I cannot play an instrument and lead people in worship even though I have longed to do that. I questioned the Lord one day as to why he decided to speak to me in this mannor. This question he decided to reply to, "I couldn't have gotten you any other way."
That took me into some very deep reflection. I remember hearing his voice distinctly when I was twenty years old which was a very destructive time in my life. What people saw of me was a girl who needed attention. A girl on drugs that loved instant gratification and the attention of men. What people didn't see was the meditations of my heart that were hidden to all except God.
The things that would pierce and stab my heart the most during those dark years were abused children and the desire to be intimately loved and intimately known. That's when this "Jesus" started pursuing me. "I love you", "Your important to me", "Repent", "Those earings don't make you beautiful, it's your heart." His words were always strategically placed, when I needed them the most.
I started a journal of all my encounters with God. At 21 I was involved in a roll over car accident. A week before the accident the Lord assured me that he was protecting me and that I would not die. The day he said that to me I had just come out of a church where I was compelled to stand up before a congregation I did not know. Through tears I was asking God to help me stop living a life of wickedness.
For the past 13 years his voice has directed me through many trials. I have been delivered of many sins. Out of all the things his voice has shown me the greatest thing is that I can do NOTHING apart from him.
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