I recently had a small scale tragedy. I owned a pet for five months and he got free. Someone picked him up off the main road and reported it to a shelter. She reported him but decided to give him to a friend. When I called the shelter and got in touch with this lady, her "friend" had said the dog ran away from him as well. Now I don't want to accuse anyone of lying, the dog was not neutered and was looking for a mate. He wandered away from us so he may have truly wondered away from this other person as well.
So, he is gone. If I get him back at this point I will know God has heard my prayers. But the point is, my heart is grieving. God in fact provided this little guy for me when I was going through a lot of change in my life. This little dog would comfort my heart because he loved me. He would chase his tail when I cried and would sit up like a prairie dog, beg for bacon, and have me in stitches. He used to run in my room or wherever I was during opportune times to uplift my spirit. He was another picture of God's grace to me.
I was careless with him. I never bought him a collar. If I did, I'm sure that lady would have called me instead of given him to someone. I also let him outside on a couple mornings I was too lazy to walk out to the dog pen. I thought he was used to running free anyway. I knew better than that though. Now he is gone because of my laziness. Sometimes our tragedies can be caused because of our carelessness.
Other times our tragedies are caused by another persons hard heart. I have certainly had one of those. And I know someone who is walking through one of those tragedies right now. Mine was a BIG tragedy...a painful, crushing, ongoing, bitter tragedy. How dare that other person cause a tragedy in my life!
And finally, we have those tragedies that just happen. Either by accident, or genetics, or time, or chance.
I spoke with a mom today who's teenage son is blind. This young man is bitter, depressed, and angry. My sufferings have been different than her sufferings. My heart can never know her bitterness and her heart can never know mine.
Lord, what should I do when these things happen to me? Should I blame YOU for some of my tragedies? My flesh wants to react. My flesh wants someone to pay for them. Sometimes I want you to pay for them.
Will I be angry with you Lord, if you never give me the answers I seek. If you never tell me "why" in my timing? Will I be disagreeable with you, will I not trust you if my tragedy is an ongoing one and spans over the years?
I'm going to choose to trust you God. I'm going to trust you with the duration of my tragedy. However long, however much it costs me, by your grace, help me to trust you. Take my need for justice, take my bitterness, and my anger. It's too much of a load for me to carry. Help me forgive, just as you forgave when it was undeserved.
I love you. Let me never forget that you rescued my darkened mind and enlightened me. You set me free as I was practicing many sins. Why should I let go of your hand now? Why the lack of trust now? I will not blame you...I love you!
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